What makes a good Ustaz?

Assalamualaikum Wbt.

And Happy New (Secular) Year. Haha!

I began this year with a post touching on the issue of religious leaders/preachers, namely "ulama.". Lately, there are tons of post cropping up all over the blogosphere about religious preachers--who's in and who's out, who's good and who's not. Personally, when I'm talking of ulama' and ustaz, particularly on Youtube, blogs or magazines, there are a few that I'm a personal fan of. And of course, there are a few that I don't. I'm not gonna drop names of either one--as I feel it's more of a personal choice.

Now what makes a good preacher? At least to me, here are my requirements (cheh, requirement pula) when I choose a good preacher to listen to:

1. Good Educational Background-Particularly higher education such as Al Azhar would be on top of my preference. However, other famous Islamic schools and universities will do, like UIA or even Madrasah Dakwah. Now don't get me wrong--I'm not sidelining other scholars who can't afford a good education--but I feel there are certain things that you can't teach yourself. Did you know some religious institution offers "dakwah method" courses? With education, people become more systematic and organized. And so is dakwah, when taught properly.
   
   Also--there are exception to this rule--for scholars without higher insitutional background, they must at least posses a long, detailed list of credible teachers --credible muftis, perawi, ulama', religious leaders. Good teachers with good reputation will almost certainly churn out equally good scholars!
   
   
2. Tone of speaking-yes, this is a personal opinion. There are lots of ulama' out there with various methods of preaching--some are soft, some are harsh, some are uplifting, and some seem perpetually angry. For me, I prefer the polite, soft spoken, but serious type and yes, for both male and female. Why? because harsh, loud sermons may lift up the spirit, but it takes us to the state of agitation. We become excited, anxious, or maybe even angry. I'd rather the feeling of calm and uplifting when I end a session. And that is Islam is it--it should be as peaceful as the name suggests.
   
   Also, another no-no is the use of rude words, or words that demean people. You know, fat jokes, racial jokes, slurs, and some pseudo-cuss words like "Dumb" or "Stupid". No, don't worry, I'm sure there's another way to talk about the Israelian issue without cussing over the Jews...
   
   
3. Topic usually covered-Each ulama' have their own "specialty" topic that they cover (although most of the do cover wide range of issues). For example Ustaz Zaharuddin cover Islamic Economy Issues, while Ustaz Kazim Elias cover social issues. I'm allright with most issues the cover (especially those that are not redundant) But--the issue that is a total NO-NO to me is personal issue. Where an issue would be bought up of a certain person about a certain doing, either directly or indirectly.
   
   For me, I believe in the statement "hate the sin not hate the sinner". Yes he had sinned, but he may have been repenting today, right now, or five seconds ago. Also, would it be right to talk about people in a mosque setting? Sure talking about people garners more attention than say, talk about life after death, but it only gets as much hype as a Melodi episode. (Oops!) If they wanna talk about behavior, I expect them to talk about it generally, without dropping names.
   
   
4. Accessibility of references-Well, it's the most important actually, but I have been forgetting about it so I put it in last! Anyway, this is important particularly when we talk about ulama' that writes in blogs or articles in newspapers. They need to cite their references. If university students are taught to include references for fear of mark deduction, ulama' should include reference for fear of damaging credibility!
   
   I mean, there are cases of ulama' that gives "strange" fatwa or hukm and not giving any citation of it, just saying "I hear it from there and there". and wha-la! when we do a little search it was proven otherwise. I know, I know, if they cite the whole hadith and its perawi it'll be too long for a 6x4 column, but at least there's a footnote to guide readers to another book or website! Also remember, if the fact pops up several times in other articles or website, does not mean they are credible :3

So I guess that's all from me. Mind you, this is just my opinion. I am writing on how I "chose" a good ulama' for me to listen. You may have other opinions too. Don't hesitate to write in your own. So till then, Jazakallahu khairan khatira, assalamualaikum w.b.t!

After Love, It’s Parenting.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hay, have it been a while for me to write, isn’t it?

Well, I have a lot to write about, I can tell you that—but to have the actual time to allocate for a typing session is hard to find. So now I’m saving up the whole night for writing whatever I feel right now.

Since I’ve been living with my parents I hang out with them a lot—particularly after dinner when it’s TV time for us. One of the usual series we used to watch is Nanny 911. No, it’s not a police story but a reality TV show about parenting. We usually sit around the table, in front of the TV, and watching how a real-life family struggle through sibling rivalry and parental authority.

Funny isn’t it that I watch parenting stuffs? No, I’m not getting one of that biological clock feeling where I suddenly want to get married. No, no no! It’s just that watching them reminded of my younger, childish days; where I was loud, obnoxious, and just plain rowdy.

But there is a deeper meaning to the reality TV show that we watched. Me and my parents would sat down and discuss what the parents did wrong and what he/she should have done right. Sometimes the parents are too strict, until their children cannot communicate with each other. Sometimes the parents are too soft, that their children seem to step all over them.

"Ma, you don't like it? WHO CARES!"

Truthfully, when I was watching that TV I realized that parenting is not as easy as it looks. Parents, like any other humans are not perfect. But they have to raise a young being right, and every tiny flaw they had gets magnified by the kids who will definitely practice them in daily life, sometimes even worse than their parents.

From watching those TV series, I realise that I may not be that ready for parenthood. Well, some people might say that after you reach so-and-so age, you must find a suitor and get married. Many people, especially the older generation measure Marriageability as the age period where people (usually women) are at their peak and physically able to bear children. Sure, that is one rather scientifically plausible reason to marriage. For example it is scientifically proven that genetic birth defects increase as women reach their 40s.

Thus marriage should be done, for women, in their adolescent years. However, by that sense, marriage is easy...but after marriage comes parenthood. No family wants themselves without children do they? As soon as the offspring is born, also born are a new set of responsibility called parenthood. Surviving parenthood needs a full set of both IQ and EQ. Can we handle that?

This is what happens with low IQ, I think. tsk, tsk.

Parenting is a full-time job, sometimes even more than that. It’s not like raising a baby cat or a Tamagotchi pet. Thinking that we can work and raise a kid at the same time it’s definitely wrong. “Hey, I can just hire a bibik, who cares?” you might say. Yes, bibik can cook and clean and dress up your kids, but the one dressing up their personality would be you. Parents are expected to teach them how to speak politely with elders, being assertive with other siblings, being a leader of their peers, and so on. Not even the best religious private school can build their personality; that can only be done by learning with example (kepimpinan melalui teladan).

Thus, whenever I am asked whether I am not planning to get married, while my friends are, I can just say; I’m not ready. I don’t want to jump head first into the world of parenthood with a childish and immature personality, which will reflect far worse on my young ones. So let me enjoy my young life first, and prepare myself for maturity along the way, and settle down to have a family when I'm really, really ready.

If you think this is right, you are STILL NOT READY!