Meja bersepah itu tandanya apa?

Assalamualaikum WBT.

Hah, dah lama benar tak berblogging. Ya, lama. sebab sebenarnya post yang minggu lepas tu dari post berjadual sejak bulan Mei. Langsung terlupa sudah ada blog. Nak kata busy...er, busylah kot. Tapi ada saja masa nak membaca laman web orang lain.

Saya tertarik membaca dari sini, mengenai Psikologi Meja. Ya, kajian psikologi berdasarkan keadaan meja kerja anda. Ada yang kita mudah faham seperti meja yang penuh barang tapi tersusun dan bersih tandanya orang berdisiplin, dan meja bersepah macam tongkang pecah tandanya minda tak senang, tapi apakah lagi tanda lain?

jadi di sini saya simpulkan pendapatnya mengenai meja tertentu.

Meja Trofi-Trophy Desk

Pernah dengar istilah Tropy Wife? Iaitu menghawini seseorang wanita cantik/kaya/popular/hebat sekadar nak menunjuk-nunjuk kehebatan dia? Jadi, trophy desk pun sama. Mejanya seperti meja pameran muzium. Ada foto-foto percutian hebat, conference atau meeting di luar negara, Cuti tahunan syarikat, gambar dengan bos-bos dan VIP atau orang-orang besar dalam industri, dan satu dua trofi/medal kecil tapi jelas kelihatan, yang dihadiahkan oleh syarikat atau yayasan besar atas kejayaannya.

Bloggier fliffy punya. contoh je la. kemas kan? [link]

Meja seperti ini mungkin sekali menunjukkan keinginan untuk naik dalam tangga sosial, contohnya naik pangkat ke jawatan lebih tinggi dan berpengaruh dalam syarikat. Lagi elok kalau sentiasa ada fail kerja terbuka di atas meja (tapi tersusun la). Baru nampak macam sedang sibuk menjalankan projek.

Meja "Rumahku syurgaku"

Amboi comelnya.[link]

 Meja yang barang-barangnya dah macam rumah sendiri. Ada pokok dalam pasu kecil, hadiah dari keluarga/kekasih, ada gambar family, ada anak patung atau action figure, malah ada sepersalinan baju mungkin. Ini menggambarkan anda ialah "manusia"--maksudnya masih ada minat lain selain kerja. Malah meja yang amat peribadi seperti ini menunjukkan pemiliknya nak bekerja jangka panjang--maksudnya anda setia kepada syarikat. Sejuk hati bos tengok. Malah, anda mungkin seorang ekstrovert dan kaki sosial dalam pejabat. Mungkin sekali anda menjadi "hub gossip" bagi jabatan anda.

Ini tanda pekerja cemerlang ke? Contoh meja dari [link]

Tapi awas! Kalau terlalu banyak barang penjagaan diri seperti pil vitamin, varnis kuku, nail buffer, dan set toiletri, nanti anda kelihatan seperti orang yang sibuk menjaga diri berbanding buat kerja. Terutamanya yang perempuan lah!

Meja SUPER bersepah!

Meja dah macam tongkang pecah. Fail di kiri dan kanan komputer. Kertas bersepah sana-sini. Post-it-notes di dinding. Cawan daripada mi megi bersama koleh Milo di belakang PC. Tu belum lagi tampalan-tampalan poskad dan gambar kekasih. Ada dua makna di sebaliknya--satu anda kreatif, dua anda memang bersepah pemikirannya.

Meja blogger ini. Biasalah agaknya kan?

Kalau dalam industri kreatif macam Media Massa (konon2 anda kerja dengan TV3), meja yang bersepah (tetapi masih dapat cari barang)  menunjukkan minat budaya yang meluas dan minda yang pantas serta cekap.  Tapi kalau jenis yang terlalu bersepah sampaikan tak dapat cari apa-apa kalau diminta, dan kole Milo sudahpun berkulat, itu tandanya kecelaruan! Boleh jadi anda tak pandai berdiplomasi, tak boleh mematuhi deadline dan tak mampu menolak kerja. Dan kalau post-it-notes penuh sampai ke hujung dinding, tu tandanya ingatan anda lemah macam ingatan ikan emas. LOL!

Meja yang bosan?

Kosongnya meja kerja dia. [link]

Ya, meja yang tanpa apa-apa sekalipun gambar kekasih, keluarga atau binatang peliharaan; malah fail kerja pun selalunya tiada. Lainlah kalau memang bos tak benarkan, atau anda baru masuk, meja kosong memang pelik. Meja kosong antaranya menunjukkan anda ni mungkin tak nak bertahan lama dalam syarikat tu. Betul kan? Huhu...

Itu saja yang saya dapat tahu. Dan ini sekadar pendapat psikologi sahaja. Tiada benar tiada salah, dan jangan terasa kalau anda terkena!

Bacaan tambahan: lebih detail dari segi psikometri, di link ini

Born This Way

Just a little thinking.

For me, every human is born to this world, with a mission.

Mission I say?

Yes, a mission.

You know, Imagine God sending our soul down to earth with a tape instruction a-la Mission Impossible.

"Mrs A, you are born to this world into a poor family."

"Mr B, you are born into a country in constant turmoil and war for the past 50 years."

"Mr C, you are born as a disabled guy with one feet and no hands, to a family in Chernobyl."

"Mrs D, you are born as a woman with a transgendered inclination, and you will have the constant need to change yourself into a man."

You were given the mission, and you are expected to accomplish it.

It is a mission and also a test.

As He sees you go around you daily life, he carefully watches your move, and how you go about with your mission.

Do you complain? Do you get angry and rebel? Or do you try get through it, by cheating, lying, or stepping on others?

God, I dare say, is a better boss of you than the guy in Mission Impossible. Truthfully, I think he does not put finishing the mission as a requirement. Rather, he wants to see how you react through it and live with it.

We complain about how our lives isn't happy. Why did God made me this way? Why am I born poor and ugly while that girl over there is a perfect ten and rich too?

Then we forgot, she is here on a mission too. Some people--we may not see it--but they have their own mission. What if they were born rich, pretty and popular--to test whether they will be arrogant and cruel to others? Will they enjoy and exploit every single thing of life's pleasures while forgetting what they were living for?

So I guess, be content with what you are born for. Don't blame, don't judge. Find your way to live through it, without abusing power, money or other people. And it doesnt matter if you complete the mission, it's the journey there that counts.

Assalamualaikum!

The plight of the child bride--and the hero. I mean, HEROINE!

Child Marriage is for Protection?

Tahani (in pink) married to Majed, when she was 6 and he was 25. The young wife with former classmate Ghada, also a child bride, outside their mountain home in Hajjah. (from here)

Child marriage spans continents, language, religion, caste. Forced early marriage thrives to this day in many regions of the world— understood by whole communities as an appropriate way for a young woman to grow especially if they carry a risk of her losing her virginity to someone besides her husband, are unacceptable.

So in communities of poverty, where nonvirgins are considered ruined for marriage —where grandmothers and great-aunts are urging the marriages forward,—it's possible to see how the most dedicated anti-child-marriage campaigner might hesitate.

Sreela Das Gupta,  from International Center for Research on Women (ICRW) said, "One of our workers had a father turn to him, in frustration."

"This father said, 'If I am willing to get my daughter married late, will you take responsibility for her protection?'

The worker came back to us and said, 'What am I supposed to tell him if she gets raped at 14?' These are questions we don't have answers to."

Early Marriage is Dangerous, why can't you see?

Asia, a 14-year-old mother, with her 2-year-old daughter. Asia is still bleeding and ill from childbirth yet has no education or access to information on how to care for herself. (pic also from Stephanie Sinclair)

Al-Hamzi, a religious conservative, is opposed to the legislative efforts in Yemen to prohibit early marriage. Islam does not permit marital relations before a girl is physically ready, he said, but the Holy Koran contains no specific age restrictions and so these matters are properly the province of family and religious guidance, not national law.

Besides, there is the matter of the Prophet Muhammad's beloved Ayesha—nine years old, according to the conventional account, when the marriage was consummated. But there is a scholarly argument that Ayesha was actually older when she had marital relations—perhaps a teenager, perhaps 20 or more.

In any case her precise age is irrelevant, they would add firmly; any modern-day man demanding marriage with a young girl dishonors the faith. "In Islam, the human body is very valuable," said Najeeb Saeed Ghanem, chairman of the Yemeni Parliament's Health and Population Committee. "Like jewelry."

He listed some of the medical consequences of forcing girls into sex and childbirth before they are physically mature: Ripped vaginal walls. Fistulas, the internal ruptures that can lead to lifelong incontinence.

From Yemen, a newspaper reported that a bride from a village had been dropped off at a Sanaa hospital four days after her wedding. Sexual intercourse appeared to have ruptured the girl's internal organs, she had bled to death. She was 13 years old.


 When Girls Fight Back



Nujood Ali suddenly became the most famous anti-child-marriage rebel in the world. The 2008 drama of the 10-year-old Yemeni girl who found her way alone to an urban courthouse to request a divorce, generated worldwide headlines. and more recently a book, translated into 30 languages: I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced.

Her book review can be found here

Nujood's father had forced her to marry a man three times her age; the man forced himself upon her the first night, despite supposed promises to wait until she was older. In the morning Nujood's new mother- and sister-in-law examined the bloodied sheet approvingly.

The surprise was that Nujood fought back.

She had escaped her husband and come home. She had defied her father when he shouted at her that the family's honor depended on her fulfilling her wifely obligations. Her own mother was too cowed to intervene. It was her father's second wife who finally gave Nujood a blessing and taxi money and told her where to go, and when an astonished judge asked her what she was doing in the big city courthouse by herself, Nujood said she wanted a divorce.  A prominent female Yemeni attorney took up Nujood's case.

So...young...and so brave! (interview can be found here)

"Her case was, you know, the stone that disturbed the water," says one of the Yemeni journalists. News stories began appearing in English, first in Yemen and then internationally; and when she was finally granted her divorce, crowds in the Sanaa courthouse burst into applause.


Everyone Nujood met was bowled over by her unnerving combination of gravity and poise. She said she was living at home again and attending school (her father, publicly excoriated, had grudgingly taken her back), and in her notebooks she was composing an open letter to Yemeni parents: "Don't let your children get married. You'll spoil their educations, and you'll spoil their childhoods if you let them get married so young."


Social change theory has a fancy label for individuals like Nujood Ali: "positive deviants," the single actors within a community are able to defy tradition and instead try something new. Amid the international campaigns against child marriage, positive deviants now include the occasional mother, father, grandmother, teacher, village health worker, and so on—but some of the toughest are the rebel girls themselves, each of their stories setting off new rebellions in its wake.

So young, and so...happy! (also from Stephanie's website)

My edit:  Hebatlah. Saya kagum! Dalam zaman di mana anak-anak kita belum tamat belajar lagi sudah mahu kahwin, ada pula anak-anak Muslim di sana yang bersungguh-sungguh mempertahan haknya untuk belajar dan hidup sebagai kanak-kanak biasa. Benar, Nabi Muhammad SAW berkahwin dengan anak gadis. Namun kalau hendak dikatakan mengikut Sunnah, banyak lagi Sunnah yang boleh diamalkan oleh lelaki zaman sekarang. Contohnya cara nabi berkahwin dengan balu dan janda, serta layanan penuh kasih sayang dan sabarnya kepada isteri-isterinya itu.

(revised from here: "Too Young To Wed by Cynthia Gorney with pictures from Stephanie Sinclair gallery photography. more here)

Assalamualaikum itu ada lima hukumnya....

Assalalumalaikum wbt...

Ha, ini sebenarnya bukan entri nak beri hukum hakam ala2 Norman Hakim Ustaz Zaharuddin. tetapi sekadar merumuskan perbincangan tentang hukum memberi Salam yang ditayangkan di TV9 pagi Rabu lepas. Saya sampaikan saja, dan menurut pencarian saya, apa yang dia cakap tu betul. Kalau salah tolonglah betulkan, dan jangan salahkan saya, salahkan ustaz tu! Huuu

Lima hukum memberi salam
1) Wajib:

Wajib? lupa pulak adik. [link]

beri salam kalau dalam solat. benda tu kan rukun solat. haaaa

2) Sunat

Samekom adew sapew kat umah takkk, ittew nak masukkk [link]

 kalau memulakan salam sesama rakan, saudara, makcik, pakcik, jiran sebelah...you get the idea.

3)Harus

tiba-tiba ternampak kelibat biru laju disebelah anda...[link]

Seorang lelaki yang memberi salam kepada jemaah perempuan (aka a group of girls. tapi bukan utk mengorat tau!). Rasulullah SAW pun pernah buat. ada saya tulis dalam post terdahulu. cari sendiri!

4) Makruh

Ai tengah bisnis. Jangan kacau eh.[link]

 Makruh beri salam kepada orang yang berada dalam toilet.

5) Haram

haram kalau macamana?

kalau lelaki bagi salam kepada perempuan bukan muhrim secara individu. aka, taktik mengorat mat rempit. actually, girls, tak dosa kalau tak jawab ok. Terutama kalau anda sedang berlari laju-laju kerana takutkan dia yang tengah sengih gatal! Hehehe

Harap maklum.

Read More
Hukum dan Adab Salam
Sunat, Harus Wajib, Makruh, atau Haram?